Name the virtue when you see it

The scenario from the previous post reinforced the desired behavior by naming the virtue of “trustworthiness”, then describing the trustworthy behavior.  This two-step process expands the child’s conception of the virtue, helping him to understand what trustworthiness really means (to do what you say you will do) and to apply it to new situations.  The more examples of trustworthiness that can be pointed out, the stronger will be the child’s internalization of this virtue.  “Look at Jason.  He’s trustworthy because he’s washing his hands like he said he would before snack.”  “Erin is putting away all the pieces of that puzzle she was working with.  Isn’t she trustworthy?”

The first scene, where we witnessed Hailey standing still and waiting, was a perfect opportunity to acknowledge her desirable behavior.  “Wow, Hailey.  You’ve been very patient waiting for Landon to finish telling his story.  Thank you.”  At this moment, I have often introduced another technique for reinforce the positive behavior.  I set up a Virtues Table in the classroom.

The Virtues Table

A small table, spread with a lovely, flowered cloth.  On it sits a clear dish in the shape of a heart.  Next to the dish is a pretty little tin bucket painted pink with flowers.  Laying spread out before these two items are cards, decorated with glitter and gems, with words written on them:

Trustworthy

Patient

Generous

Thrifty

Thankful

Merciful

Independent

Courteous

Imagine it’s time for show-and-tell, but instead of holding up a physical object, the children hold up themselves and share a situation in which they exhibited generosity, trustworthiness or patience.  Imagine the children nearly competing with one another to do good.  “I shared my ball with my little brother.”  “My mommy made me cookies and I told her thank you.”  “I waited until Zachary was done with the puzzle, so I was patient.”

After each tender report, the child takes a gem from the bucket and drops it in the heart-shaped jar.  After about a week the jar is filled to the top and we celebrate the  moment by emptying the jar and gazing at all the gems that represent all of our kindnesses.  Then we begin again.

Now it often happens that when the parent comes to pick up the child at the end of class, the child exhibits behavior that the parent deems inappropriate or chaotic.  This elicits a comment from the parent to the effect, “Did she act like this all day?”  Or “Is he this way for you?”  Then I get a chance to boast about all the times the child exhibited a particular virtue, all of the instances when he was patient, courteous, etc.  This, in turn, triggers the child to also begin to list the virtues they’ve shown.  My favorite moments are when the parent shares with me an anecdote about the child at home telling the parent that he is courteous or trustworthy.  How precious it must sound to hear your little child tell you “I’m generous and trustworthy and thankful and patient.  I’m very patient.”

The virtues table is merely a focus for our attention.  Recounting our moments when we showed virtues is not enough.  The most important part of virtues education is when we incorporate the language of virtues into our daily interactions with the children:

“Look at Victoria’s hands.  They’re resting in her lap.  She’s waiting patiently for her turn.”  (This is said when several of the children are attempting to grab the material so they can use it.)

 “Erin is sitting quietly so she can take a turn now.”  (This draws attention to desirable behavior rather than watching a child jump up and down shouting “I want a turn” to be given any attention for the undesirable behavior.)

“Thank you for standing quietly and tapping my shoulder.  Can I help you with something?”  (Instead of giving attention to someone shouting “Teacher” across the room).  Likewise, I tap a child’s shoulder, wait for eye contact, then state my request, rather than shout across the room “Time to clean up!”